W(he)el of Fortune
I dont know, what has brought me so far to come to a cyber cafe just to type a random post. My folks are back in Delhi, and I am still hanging around in Bangalore to give some lousy admission test. I somehow realize, with the increase of physical distance, I am growing closer to them. We (my folks) spend half an hour talking to me, knowing my day, if I have been a good child. If I didn’t trouble Thatha(Grandpa, in Tamil). My friends occasionally call me up, to find out general happenings, and I feel so good. Miles away from home, and still at home.
I just cleared like a major major cool college for my master’s. But that is just the written part. I need to clear the interview. And there are going to be students who are more competent than me. Who know more than me, with heavier portfolios. I am gonna be a mere rat in the race. And this time, the rat wants to speed up in the race. With the passion to outbeat everyone on the way. But is this passion enough?
I am so scared of failure. What if I don’t get through? If I don’t make it? I am anyways jobless, and not clearing the interview will be like a temperory academic fracture. One which would last for an year, till I get the chance again. I have never been afraid of trying, but by not believing in myself, I am trying ‘to fail’. Even if I would not, I am psychologically greasing myself to prepare for the worst. And this is melting away the fire, the passion.
The day someone called me up to tell me that I cleared that particular college, what a sense f jubiliation it was. It was an ‘orgasmic’ high. Literally. Thatha felt like I won ‘Wheel of Fortune’. It was indeed, like the WHEEL of FORTUNE. Luck is giving me the chance to roll the dice, and I need to take the chance. I hope the WHEEL of FORTUNE to the WELL of FORTUNE 
When you really want something, with a pure heart, and you achieve it, makes you feel so good about yourself. It is an ego massage. A chance to prove wrong the ones who thought of me as incapable. A chance to give myself more reasons to love me.
I have never wanted something SOO badly in the past three years. As the Wheel of Fortune has brought me so close to the doors of my destination, I hope it helps me hit BULL’s EYE!
I want to go back home soon, clear the interview and come back to blog about it! I am missing home. The place Where my aspirations lie. Where I thread my dreams. Where I weave my reality!
